Couples have to be very careful when choosing a therapist. We have to understand the meaning of the client or spouse’s request to use telephone or internet based counselling. We have to meet the standards of competence, attitude, technique and behaviour. In the end, it is up to you to decide if you feel comfortable with a particular counsellor.
It depends on the problem, whether we will try online internet based or telephone based counsellor (online parterapi).
For any counseling method to work, both the partner and the spouse must be interested in working on the solutions. And that means, to be open and share their point of view to make the other person understand their position.
If the problem is about money, then the problem must be resolved in a proper manner.
We cannot just go around talking about the problem. It is better if the partner should work on the source of the problem, and the other one should work on his/her part. It is a process of elimination. If the source of problem is not fixed, then the problem will be left un-solved. It is better to work one problem at a time. When both of them are able to work together with the process of elimination, the problem will be solved.
Before going to the counselor, it is better to know the time and place where the counseling will be held and if it is a good couple therapist (god par-terapeut). We cannot go to the counselor in the middle of the problems. If the problem has not been resolved in a proper manner, then there is no use going to the counselor. Sometimes, it can help to go with the flow. And we have to be open to help the problem to get solved. Counseling is not a magic bullet. But it helps to make the partners take interest in the problem. Counselor may help to clear the misunderstandings and help the partner to be interested again.
Sometimes, when the problems are too big, then the partner cannot take it, and he or she will want to look for a way out. And sometimes, they cannot find a way out and look for a different way of solving the problem.
We cannot forget, the problem has to be solved in a proper manner. If the process of problem solving is not proper, then we have to give up the process. And the partner should not be frustrated and give up because the partner thought was not right. We cannot rush things. When the process is not right, it should be given time to correct itself. Sometimes, a short period of counseling can make the partners to give up the wrong process.
It helps to go together. There is no need to go alone. But when the problems get too big, then both the partners should go together. The counselor is an important person to go to with online parterapi. He or she should help both the partners to resolve their problems and get the relationship to grow. It is a big thing, when the relationship is threatened by a problem.
And when you think of leaving your relationship, don’t think of something that is not good. And be ready to say goodbye to your partner as soon as there is any problem in your relationship.
The best thing is to give yourself time, so that you can change yourself.
